Relationships and Love

Great relationships don't just happen; learn how to create yours today…

Is lack of commitment an issue in your relationship?

How is lack of commitment an issue in your relationship?How much commitment and effort do you put into your relationship with your life partner? Relationships are demanding. They require time and effort. Relationships need commitment if they are to work well.

As a marriage counselor, I often hear the same statements: –

  • “I wish our relationship was better. We get along fine but the spark is gone.”
  •  “I’d love things to be better between us. There is an underlying tension there but somehow there is never enough time to talk about our issues.”
  • “I know that we need to talk, really talk. But we are both so busy – everything else gets in the way.”

Wishing, wanting, desiring – these are all part of our human condition. It is good to wish, to hope. It shows that you have the capacity to imagine things being different. But wishing alone achieves nothing. The big question is – what are you going to do about realising you hopes and dreams?

Perhaps for you too the desire to have a better relationship is there. You both recognise that things need to be improved. But how do you go about it? Maybe the time just never seems right; you are each afraid of a discussion ending up in a row; or perhaps you feel that you are going round in circles, saying the same things over and over again but nothing changes.

Well, here is some relationship advice – you can easily learn the skills you need to improve your relationship. There is a program which you can do yourself, with or without your partner, which can bring about huge changes for the better in your lives. You just need to make up your mind to do it! As I say, commitment is required!

Remember, no matter what the issues between you are, there is one absolute truth – changing things requires TIME and EFFORT! Your relationship is probably the most important aspect of your life. Yet, you can sometimes devote so much time to work, to your children and to managing your lives that there is no time left to look at the foundation stone of your life together – your relationship with your partner.

All relationships need attention. But your relationship with your life partner can often be relegated to such a low rung on the priority ladder that it gets no dedicated time. Just think about it – how would you feel if your relationship were to fall apart? Remember, you and your partner never move along parallel lines – human dynamics mean that we are constantly changing, adapting, forming opinions and attitudes. If you do not make time for yourselves as a couple, you will drift away from one another. It is only natural.

Couples have come to me over the years with long wish lists. They want to see big changes in their relationship. But sometimes when they are told that this requires regular dedicated time together, they find this a real challenge. They would much prefer a quick fix solution, one that requires no great input or effort from them.

Bringing about change requires time, determination and patience. The two people involved are the only ones who can bring about those changes. Once couples accept that fact, they can start on the road to making things better between them.

But the good news is that once the process starts, you feel energised by the positive results. Having made the commitment and factored dedicated time into your schedule, you begin to realise how much you have missed being able to talk to one another as you used to do before life became so hectic.

So, take my advice! Don’t just sit there wishing that things could be better. Make a commitment to improving your most valuable asset – your relationship. Don’t let it suffer because of commitment issues.