Your relationship is probably the most important aspect of your life. Yet, many couples devote so much time to work, to their children and to managing their lives that there is no time left to look at the foundation stone of your life together – your relationship.
Working with couples I often hear the same wishful statements:
- “I’d love things to be better between us. There is an underlying tension there but somehow there is never time to talk about these things.”
- “I know that we need to talk, really talk. But we are both so busy – everything else gets in the way.”
Wishing, wanting, desiring – these are all part of our human condition. It is good to wish and to hope. It shows that you have the capacity to imagine things being different. However, wishing alone will not improve anything. You need to take action NOW, before it is too late. The big question is – what are you going to do about realising your hopes and dreams?
For many couples, the desire to have a better relationship is there. Both recognise that things could be improved. But how?
Change takes time and effort!
No matter what the issues between you are, there is one absolute truth – changing things requires TIME and EFFORT! Your relationship is probably the most important aspect of your life. Yet, many couples devote so much time to work, to their children and to managing their lives that there is no time left to look at the foundation stone of your life together – your relationship.
All relationships need attention. But your relationship with your life partner can often be relegated to such a low rung on the priority ladder that it gets no dedicated time. Just think about it – how would you feel if your relationship were to fall apart? Remember, you and your partner do not move along parallel lines – human dynamics mean that if you do not make time for you as a couple, you drift away from one another. It is only natural.
A wish list
Couples have come to me over the years with a long wish list. They want to see big changes in their relationship. But sometimes when they are told that this requires regular dedicated time together, they find this a real challenge. They would much prefer a quick fix solution, one that requires no great input or effort from them. But there are no magic pills which can be swallowed to make everything better.
Bringing about change requires time, determination and patience. The two people involved are the only ones who can bring about those changes.
But the good news is that once the process starts, couples are energised by the positive results. Having factored the dedicated time into their schedule, they begin to realise how much they have missed being able to talk to one another as they used to do before life became so hectic.
So, take my advice! Don’t just sit there wishing that things could be better. Get onto the Rekindle the Spark – Save your Marriage program and see just how easy it is to bring about big changes in your lives together!